Diary entry from the day his mother died

Dear diary.
I am so confused. Why did she choose to keep this a secret until now? And why did she tell me now, without giving me the chance to ask questions? The questions keep popping up, but she is already gone. She won't answer anything. Why? Couldn't she simply have left me believing that everything was the way I have always believed they were. What do I do now? Who else knows about this? Rose certainly knows. But who else?
My mom, or who I believed was my mom is actually my biological mother's aunt? And the people I call my siblings are in fact my biological mother's cousins. It makes me sick!! My mother is a woman I have always seen as my cousin. I am devastated. Where do I start?
Rose is my mother… my mother!!!! I have always felt attracted to her, almost like a man to a woman, and then I find out she's my mother… It's sick, sick, sick!
This must have been the most horrible day in my life.

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